A Hard Battle: I Was Losing it All
I missed each class, I skipped every meal
While continuously wondering what could help me heal.
People left, people betrayed
I realized that the real ones are those who stayed.
I kept fighting battles during the day, I kept fighting battles at night
And there I sat, wondering which might be my last fight.
I tried to sleep at night, I kept my eyes closed
I even took sleeping pills, thinking they could help me to get dozed.
The therapy failed, the tranquillizers failed
With every failed attempt, I deeply exhaled.
I tried travelling, I found my escape
This is when my physical health got into bad shape.
My brain was getting affected- to my notice it was brought
Then I realized that I had really lost a lot.
Explanation:
This poem is all about the details of the loss that I incurred. Due to my anxiety issues, I missed a lot of classes, I skipped almost every meal. Even drinking a glass of water felt like a burden. All the energy within me had drained. I was almost giving up. I did not find it fair. Sitting alone, I would often ask questions such as "Why me?", "How long will this last?", etc., as if someone was listening to me. Although I had insomnia, I tried sleeping at night and I still remember how forcefully putting myself to sleep further caused severe headaches and hours of overthinking. I just used to lay in my bed thinking when will all this end and why life was so harsh. It felt as if I was cursed. And all this while, I did not have anyone to talk to because I did not know how to explain my part. I tried taking sleeping pills, and tranquillizers and even talked to a therapist. But nothing worked. So now, not only my mental health but also my physical health got affected. I lost nearly 6-7 kgs in a single week. I felt tired. Very tired.
I tried travelling, I found my escape.- It was the only thing that made me feel good during this phase.
After experiencing all the above-mentioned problems, I realized that I had lost a lot! Anxiety took a lot of me and a lot from me!
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